Grandma

 Im not sure how to express my feelings about Grandma.  She died this month.  I was able to go with my mom to take Grandma to the hospital.  It was hard to listen to her weezing as we drove her to the hospital.  She kept saying, "Why do we have to go? Why can't we just let this happen?"  Grandma was suffering with pneumonia.  Every time she looked at me I could see that she didn't want to fight her old crippled body any more.  She didn't have any fear in accepting death.
My dad gave her a blessing the next day and in it he told her that she had many that loved her on both sides of the vail but that the Lord would let her choose what she wanted.
It is interesting to see the extreme measures that so many people take to live.  But with a per knowledge of the gospel and a testimony of our Savior there is no fear.

 I am happy for Grandma.  I have learned so much watching her humbly accepting the will of the Savior and put her life in his hands.  She accepted the Saviors will and spent the last years of her life learning how to truly prioritize the most important things in life.

 I am so grateful my children have had the opportunity to build a relationship with their grandparents.  The more I work on family history the more I realize how much we need our ancestors that have passed on.

 During the viewing Ila timidly walked up to the casket.  I know without a doubt that she will never forget that moment.  I was able to give her a quick lesson on the resurrection.  It was really hard for Ila to see Grandma laying there, she also didn't like that they had put makeup on grandma.

 For many years I think Grandma really struggled with my choices in life.  Specifically my love for sports.  She never could understand why I wanted to do it.  But since I moved back from Las Vegas I have made a very conscious effort to make sure my children know their great grandparents.  Grandma has left a small piece of herself with each of my kids.
Avram always felt like he was special.  He would often say, "Mom we need to go visit Grandma." or "Mom, I hate when we leave Grandma because I don't want to see her cry."  Avram knew he was loved.
Briggs, was slow to warm up loves candy.  He learned how to dodge Grandmas kiss but he also knew she loved him and he was going to get a hug no matter what.

 Ila loved Grandma from day 1.  When Ila was just a new born I went to take Grandpa to go grocery shopping.  When I got to the house Ila was asleep.  Grandma begged for me to leave Ila with her.  I tried to argue but Grandma was determined she could handle everything.  I was so stressed the entire time I was gone with Grandpa that I could hardly stand it.
When we returned Ila was still asleep, lying on Grandmas chest.  There is something so special about holding a sleeping new born.  The peace that you feel can't be matched.  I know the Lord blessed us all that day and I think it was something Grandma really needed.

The last few years I have really enjoyed visiting with Grandma.  She always loved to hear all about my life and what the kids were doing.  If she hadn't seen me in awhile she would call to make sure everyone was okay.
I know she has given my son Gabe the same hug that she gave to each of us so many times.